A Look Inside by Jamie Nobis

Jamie wrote this for me many years ago. It's funny how we have moved on from each other and gone in diffent paths. But the words he wrote had held true for a few of the loves in my life. I'm scared shitless. Maybe that is why I don't let anyone get close to me. I have a huge fear of getting hurt beyond repair.

Isn't it weird how things happen in our lives? Things that we have no control over; they just happen.
Do you ever wonder what the future holds for you? For me?
I just can't believe things have turned out the way they have!
But, one thing I can believe is it is about to get messed up - just like it always does. No matter how hard I tried in the past, things always turned out BAD.
I hope it doesn't happen again. But I can't help thinking that there is always that possibility.I just wish I knew the answer.
If you question my true feelings I can understand that. I have a problem letting people inside my head. It seems like every time I do, I end up getting screwed.
Now I just avoid the pain by not getting close to people. I want to be close to you but I'm afraid; it hurst too much in the end.
What exactly am I trying to say? I don't know.
Maybe: I love you and it scares the shit out me!